The Katelayna Insider

Why Does My Real Estate Agent Want Me to Work With Just Them?

One of the first questions you'll hear from almost any real estate agent is, "Are you already working with an agent?" If you've never stopped to think about why that question matters, you're not alone. Most people assume it's simply because agents don't want competition or because they're trying to secure a commission before someone else does. I understand why it looks that way from the outside, but after more than a decade in real estate, I've come to believe the answer is much more about relationships than commissions.

Real estate is one of the few professions where someone can invest weeks—or even months—working for another person without ever earning a paycheck. We don't charge for consultations, research, showings, writing offers, negotiating inspections, or the countless phone calls and emails that happen between the day you start looking and the day you receive your keys. In most cases, we are only compensated if the transaction successfully closes. I don't mention that because I think anyone should feel sorry for real estate agents. I mention it because it's something many people simply don't know, and once they understand it, the conversation about loyalty starts to make much more sense.

Several years ago, I was working with buyers who had found a home they were excited about. Before we ever stepped inside, we had spent time talking about the buying process, financing, and agency. We discussed what representation meant, why those conversations were important, and I answered every question they had. After touring the property together, they told me they wanted to write an offer. I rearranged my evening because we planned to meet later that day and prepare everything.

Before we met again, they decided to stop by the open house for one last look.

Later that afternoon, my phone rang. It wasn't the buyers. It was the listing agent hosting the open house. They thanked me for showing the property and let me know the buyers had signed an exclusive representation agreement with them and that they would be working together moving forward. That was the end of my involvement.

People have asked why I didn't simply call the buyers and continue helping them. The answer is that once someone chooses exclusive representation with another brokerage, it's important that professionals respect that relationship. Just as I would never attempt to interfere with another agent's client, I believe other agents should be able to trust that I'll respect the relationships they've established. Professional courtesy and agency laws exist to protect everyone involved, including the consumer.

Looking back, I don't believe anyone acted with bad intentions. In fact, we had already talked about agency before we ever toured the home. I simply don't think the buyers realized how one decision could change who represented them moving forward. That experience reinforced something I've believed ever since: most people aren't trying to take advantage of real estate agents. They're making decisions with the information they have, and sometimes no one has taken the time to explain how the process actually works.

That's why I ask whether you're already working with another agent. It's not because I expect loyalty simply because we met first, and it's certainly not because I think clients owe me their business. It's because buying a home works best when both people are committed to the relationship. When I agree to represent someone, I'm committing my time, experience, evenings, weekends, and energy to helping them make one of the biggest financial decisions of their life. In return, I hope they're comfortable making that same commitment to me, not because they have to, but because trust grows when both people know they're working toward the same goal.



Real estate isn't something most people do often enough to know every detail of how it works. Even people who have bought and sold several homes are often surprised by changes in the law, new agency requirements, or parts of the process no one ever explained the first time around. That's one of the reasons I started writing these articles. My goal isn't to convince anyone to hire me. It's to explain the parts of real estate that rarely get talked about, answer the questions people don't always know to ask, and help them make better decisions because they understand not just what happens, but why it happens.